I had a recent discussion with my brother about just how stressful it can be to have a conversation with a stranger. He had been thinking of doing it for some time, but I had been thinking about it for a long time. I think the reason he went into a rage was that he was in a conversation feeling stressed out and anxious, and he was afraid that if he didn’t express his anger, he would lose the chance to have a good conversation with me.
He was right. I think I may have had a mild case of the “rage face.” I got caught up in thinking about something, then I looked across the table, and I started to explode! I was about to tell him how much I appreciated the conversation, how much I loved having him around, and that I was looking forward to spending time with him. But I didn’t. I just started to get really angry and yell at him.
That’s the thing about rage. It’s very hard to tell what it is, because the people who experience it are so incredibly unaware of what it is. It’s usually just a deep, visceral, emotional response. It’s usually just a sudden outburst of anger, and it’s usually very hard to pinpoint the exact moment it starts. But in a way it’s kind of like an emotional “I’m angry right now” kind of thing.
That’s why rage is such a good thing, because its very hard to pinpoint the exact moment that someone starts showing anger.
Rage is a very good thing. It is a kind of response to pain that people have to experience. But it’s also a kind of response to a pain that is so deep, so unyielding, and so unfeeling that it doesn’t seem to have any point. It’s like what happens when people have an a hole in their chest and they feel everything but they don’t have any reason to feel it.
We are all afraid of the things that we know we cant be happy about. In this case, the pain isnt really pain because it doesnt have any other meaning. It is just pain. But the pain that people feel for certain things is the pain that isnt really pain, or the pain that isnt even pain. This may sound harsh, but the kind of pain that isnt really pain is an ugly kind of pain.
the pain you feel when you are thinking about losing a loved one is an awful kind of pain, and the pain that you have for the things you know you shouldnt be thinking about is the other kind of pain: the pain that you wish was pain.
There is a sense of self-loathing and guilt that comes with the thought of losing something you deeply care about. This isn’t a bad thing. It is absolutely normal to feel this way. It is just that with the loss comes a heightened sense of shame. And shame is an ugly kind of pain, too. The difference being that it is not actually pain, but the pain that isnt really pain; the pain that isnt even pain.
You’ve been through a lot of stress, but you still have a lot of anger. That’s a pretty good sign for you. If you were really serious about building your life a little bit more, you would be more likely to do that.
If you feel that way, you are probably not ready to stop and think about what youre feeling. You are probably not ready to let it go.
